Burning Inside
by Whitika Oblivion
Summary: What if Roy had reacted to Hugh's death differently? Stuck in a deep depression, now it's Ed's job to get him back to normality and to being the Mustang he knew. Warnings for yaoi, swearing and angst.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hey I've never wrote about these two before so...yeah, hope you like it and I hope they're not too out of character. Also the time it's set is just after Hugh's death, but I'm kind of straying form the story...a lot. What else is fanfiction for though, if not changing the story a bit? ;)_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist nor the characters, if I did Ed and Roy would be first couple I force together whether they like it or not._

_Warnings for swearing and yaoi_

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The room was a mess. Scattered clothes littered the floor and empty cans lay around at regular intervals. He'd been out again last night drinking and apparently it had followed him home. Sighing, the short blonde figure lay his head on his hand in exasperation and withheld anger, he was going to be late for work yet again.

"Hey bastard!" Not caring for any headaches or hangovers the man may have and yelling as loudly as possible.

A weak groan from beneath crumpled bedclothes replied,

"Fullmetal?" A pale hand reached out from under the blankets, feeling around for something on his desk, probably the small alarm clock he kept missing.

"You could just ask if you want to know the time." Grumbling, Ed stalked around the double bed and pulled open the curtains, bright light streaming in.

The hand retracted as though burned, much to the amber eyed menace's annoyance as he gave an angry growl.

"Come on, you're late! For fuck's sake Mustang this is the last time I'm stopping by in the morning!"

Ed was never quite sure why the visits had even started in the first place. One night he had seen Mustang staggering around a corner, totally drunk, and had helped him home for no apparent reason. Enduring the bastard's ramblings and confusion with the patience of a saint, if you left out then part when he had roundhouse kicked him in the stomach for calling him short, he had managed to safely escort the idiot home and into bed. The next morning he had felt the urge to visit, making some excuse to Al about going out for a walk, as if he'd believed a word of it, and heading down before work. The doorbell had been ignored multiple times until eventually a confused and tired colonel had answered, cursing about the noise and pissing Ed off to the extent where he had stormed off to work without even getting inside the house.

The next morning he had returned to Mustang's house, driven by some deep unsettling urge to check to see if the man was alright. Again, the doorbell had been ignored several times and again the bastard had showed up looking ragged and dead to the world. This time Ed had stayed, ignoring the complaints and shoving his way into the house to demand the man have a shower, coffee and get to work before he left. After that he went every morning, stopping by on his way to work to ensure the man was up or conscious at least before he continued on his way. At some point during the past few weeks a key had been shoved into his hand along with a mumbled 'Now stop ringing the goddamn doorbell, Fullmetal'.

In all honesty, the start of his concerns for the colonel's health had started before then. Almost every day for the past month or so he had been showing up to work looking sick and tired, staggering through to his office with barely a good morning. Everyone had noticed instantly the change in his attitude, Havoc telling how he had stopped visiting bars to pick up women, Riza making small comments on the increase in paperwork being signed. Ed himself had almost been concerned when their fights abruptly stopped and he seemed a lot less cocky and arrogant and...Mustang-y.

They often discussed in hushed whispers what was wrong with the man and so far Ed felt he'd heard every story, possible and impossible, as explanations as to why Mustang was acting unusual. Riza had apparently confronted him about it one morning only to retreat from his office flushing furiously, her face blank but eyes gleaming with a murderous rage. She'd stopped discussing the colonel's weird behaviour since then, Ed suspected she was still incredibly pissed at him for whatever he'd said.

Now, looking at the mass of blankets in front of him, Ed could only feel intense fury building up within him. Sure, he was an angry person by nature but this cycle of getting drunk every single night was beginning to grate on his already short nerves.

"Nothing about me's fucking short." Subconsciously arguing against his own mind, he leant over and grabbed the edges of the blankets, "Hey! I'm gonna pull these off you if you don't move, now!"

No answer.

"Fine, have it your way, idiot..." Cursing, Ed sharply jerked the covers off the cowering man before coming to a sudden halt, blinking owlishly at the sight that greeted him.

Roy Mustang. In very few clothes. Boxers alone actually.

Ed paused as his breath caught in his throat and the blankets dropped from his hands, his mind trying to piece together the image in front of him. A light pink flush found it's way onto his cheeks as Mustang shifted slightly in discomfort form the light, uncurling and revealing even more porcelain pale flesh. His eyes dipped of their own accord, falling on the loosely worn boxers.

Oh dear God what was he doing...

"Ahh uh move it!" Flailing about almost comically, Ed managed pick a sentence out of his muddled mind.

Why the hell had he been thinking that? Or looking down there for that matter! These little visits to colonel bastard's house had to stop soon before the situation got any weirder and his crush developed further. Crush? Shaking his head he hissed in frustration, Edward Elric did not have a crush on the military's biggest womaniser! He only visited him to check if he was alive so that he could have someone to annoy an argue with at work. Otherwise it'd be boring. Not that he needed or wanted the bastard in his life either...

"Fullmetal, what the hell are you doing?" The raven haired man peeked out from behind a raised hand in an attempt to block the light.

It would have been amusing to him that the elder Elric looked a bit like some sort of avenging angel stood against the bright light of the window if it wasn't for the splitting headache behind his eyes.

"What am I doing? What the fuck do you think you're doing still in bed at nine?" Ed's screaming invaded his ears, he wanted to die.

"Nothing, I'm not coming in to work today. Now go away."

Ed's temper began to fray at the edges, his voice raising further as he began shouting again.

"You have a hangover! That's not a reason to stay off now get up and get your arse into work before Hawkeye shoots it off!"

"No." The weak reply was followed by the man curling back into a tighter ball.

Damn he was stubborn.

"I said GET UP! For God's sake Mustang you need to get a grip already!"

"Leave me alone Edward." Both men fell silent at that.

Edward? He never called him by his first name and for some reason it made everything seem a lot more serious.

"No." Ed muttered, sitting on the edge of the bed and glancing over at the clock as the hands made their way further away from nine by the minute, "We're already both late so I'm gonna sit here and wait until you get up and get showered. I can wait all day, I'm sure you have enough food in the fridge that I wont starve while I stay."

"Fuck you Fullmetal."

"Feel free too." The words left his mouth before he could stop him and he sensed more than saw the single eyebrow raised in his direction.

"You'll be waiting a long time." The blonde was relieved when the comment was allowed to slide, the topic straying back to the bastard getting out of bed.

"No problem, I hate work anyway."

Silence fell, the type of silence Ed usually hated with a passion, but he would let it go for today, something was wrong and for some reason he wanted to know what. The only sound for a long time was the rustling of Roy shifting about on the bare bed and his own automail rubbing against the inside of his jacket.

"Do you miss him?" Jumping slightly at the sudden question, Ed turned to see Mustang had sat upright and he was now faced with his back.

"Who?" Frowning, he kicked his boots off and climbed onto the bed to cross over and sit next to the colonel, making sure he stayed a foot or so away and beginning to blush again when dark eyes met his own golden ones.

"Maes. He was my best friend." Ah, he should have realised sooner.

Was this what all the drinking was about? Ed tried to think back to when exactly Roy had first began to come into work looking dishevelled and dull. A month or so back which was...roughly a week after the death of Maes...

"We all miss him, he was a good person." Fidgeting uncomfortably, Ed swallowed and tried to speak, "Is that why?"

"Why what Ed?" Again his first name, it was beginning to scare him.

"Why you...why you're drinking so much?" This was unfamiliar ground, usually the two argued and fought with words and fists.

Within a few minutes it had changed, turning all so careful and delicate that Ed felt he was walking over landmines. One wrong move and it could all go drastically downhill.

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_So, first chapter done! I actually started this a while ago and only just decided to go back to it now. Not sure how long this will end up being at the moment, but hopefully it'll go well._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Chapter two is up so, enjoy. Sorry it took so long, I've been ill :'(_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, nor can I spell it if the several typos I just had are anything to go by_

_Warnings for yaoi, suicidal thoughts and swearing._

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Roy didn't answer his question, his eyes dropping to the floor as he subconsciously twisted his fingers in the bedding. Ed didn't think he'd ever seen the look on his face before, a look of sadness and confusion. As though he was mourning, only he didn't know why or what had happened to make him so sad.

"Hey...uh, you know you can talk to me?" Ed muttered nervously, kicking his feet seeing as they didn't quite reach the floor.

Only because he was sat far back on the bed though.

"Yeah..." The man sighed and ran his hands through raven hair.

Ed let out a huff of air and fell backwards onto the bed, waiting in silence for Colonel Bastard to make the next move, whether it be get ready and leave the blonde alone in his house. Or actually try to talk.

"I...I just..." Mustang started, pausing and taking a deep breath, "I wish I could have saved him."

Ed didn't say anything at first, fiddling with the bangs of hair that hung low over his face and thinking carefully. This wasn't anything like the man he'd known and fought with on an almost daily basis, that man would not have lain down and accepted his friend's death without revenge. Although, it had been a long time since anyone had heard news of his murderer, maybe Roy had given up finding him?

"Don't go there Mustang." The blonde finally murmured, voice quiet.

"Where?"

"Down the road of 'what if'. It doesn't help anyone. What happened can never be changed, you just have to keep moving forward." Amber eyes glistened angrily and he clenched his automail fist.

Why was he so angry? At Roy? At himself? He had once spent so long thinking 'what if' that he had stopped moving, and it was Roy who saved him. Telling him he had to move forward and put things right, giving him a purpose in life again. Maybe it was time to return the favour.

"I know...but, he didn't deserve to die this young." Roy glanced down at him as he spoke, eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

Bastard...are you too proud to cry?

The silence was broken by the ringing of the house phone, Roy freezing as it did and groaning,

"Too much noise for this time of day." He moaned and Ed snarled.

"No you're just too hung over!" He swung himself upright and grabbed the phone before the older man could stop him, "Hello?"

"_Edward? What are you doing at Colonel Mustang's house?"_ Ah crap, Hawkeye.

"Oh, uh I just came round to ask him if he'd found any more leads yet."

"_So early in the morning? You could have just waited until you got to work. Why are you really there? Also please inform the Colonel that if he's not here in half an hour I'll have to take serious action." _Even over the phone, he could imagine the click of the safety being switched off her pistol and grimaced.

"Give me the phone." Roy hissed from behind, Ed gracefully ignoring him.

"No reason really. Look actually, I have a favour to ask."

"_What is it?"_

"Mustang's staying off today, I'm wondering if I can too?" He held the phone away, Gate knows what the woman would do to him if he'd pissed her off enough.

"_Ok." _Ed blinked.

"Excuse me?"

"_Just make sure you look after him, I'm worried..." _For a moment, she sounded genuinely scared, but before Ed could say anything about it she was continuing in her usual professional manner, _"I'll tell Al where you are and offer him a stay in the library since he seems to be the only one here on time, or at all. Goodbye Edward, I expect you both in tomorrow."_

The dial tone signalled her hanging up on him so he put the phone down and turned to face a stunned Mustang. That went better than he'd thought it would have, guess everyone else wants the old Roy back just as much as himself.

"Did...did you just tell Hawkeye I was staying off today?" He asked, wide eyed.

"Yeah. So get your fat ass out of bed already! We're going to tidy this place up and get you dressed." He ordered, smirking at getting to play the superior for once, time to show the bastard how commanding he can be.

Dark eyes narrowed angrily,

"You can't just give your commanding officer days off work then get him to clean his house. Go. Away." He glared at Ed, sighing when the boy laughed.

"Mustang, we're off work today. The hell are you my 'commanding officer' outside of the military." He grinned and Roy paled, probably realising he was in for a crap day on top of his awful hangover.

"Well, no matter what, at least I'll always be above you." He quipped suddenly, knocking the smile off Ed's face instantly.

Did he just call him short?

For the first time in weeks?

Ed glared at the man, momentarily speechless and really not sure whether to be relieved or pissed off. In the end, he went for the latter.

"BASTARD I'M NOT SHORT AND EVEN IF I WAS I COULD STILL KICK YOUR ASS!" He yelled, gesturing wildly about the room and thinking about assaulting the man where he sat.

Roy chuckled weakly and rubbed his eyes with a yawn.

"Course you could...look, since I now have the day off I'm going back to bed. Not cleaning." He rolled over and tried to pull the blankets over himself.

"Oh no you don't." Ed yelped, grabbing the edge of the blanket and ripping it aside, leaving Roy once again half naked with nothing to cover him.

"Fullmetal..." He growled, glaring at the blonde.

"No, I'm not taking orders from you today. You're just some hung-over arse to me right now, so get dressed and I'll start the cleaning." Folding his arms, one amber eye glaring at the man, he waited.

"Only if you stop yelling..." Roy finally agreed with a grimace, Ed was making his headache ten times worse.

He got to his feet and wandered through to the bathroom as Ed watched, grabbing some jeans and a t-shirt on the way past his wardrobe. Ed sighed heavily as the door shut.

"Really, Mustang? Giving in that easily?"

Shaking his head, he glared around at the mess and frowned. Damn it, he hadn't really planned on tidying the bastard's bedroom on his first day off in months. Maybe they could finish this quickly and he could go home. He moved across the floor, navigating the crushed cans and a selection of parts of the military uniform that had been strewn around and picked a typically empty bin out from under a desk.

"Right, cans and bottles first?" He muttered, eying the room.

Nodding to himself he bent and began to toss cans into the basket, wondering if it had taken one night for him to drink all of this or whether Ed hadn't noticed the mess building up over the past few days. He didn't really pay much attention to the room when he was busy yelling at Mustang to get to work and Al had told him he could be a bit dense. Not as harshly though, more like a 'um brother...you can be, um, you can miss things...sometimes.". Brushing his hair back over his shoulder he grinned slightly, imaging Al's horror at him disappearing for the day to visit the Colonel.

Suddenly, he paused in his tidying, an idea forming in his head.

"Al's always said we should have company every now and then..." Chuckling to himself, he sat down on the bed and grabbed the phone form it's stand, dialling in the number and waiting.

It was answered quickly enough and he began speaking, glancing at the bathroom door anxiously every few seconds.

"Great. See you soon." There was a click as the door unlocked and he hastily put the phone down as though burned and turning on the man who stood in front of him, "What took you so long bastard?"

"I didn't have much motivation to hurry up." The man replied dryly, folding his arms and leaning back on the doorframe, "You haven't exactly done much."

Ed didn't reply for a moment, he'd never seen Mustang out of his uniform and sat taking in the view. He really did suit jeans...

"Fullmetal?" Roy prompted, seeing the younger boy freeze.

"What?" He yelped, snapping out of his trance and blushing, "I just don't have time to listen to you spouting shit, and I would have done more, but I needed to phone someone. Besides, I'm not doing all your dirty work."

With a huff of air, Roy looked around and stepped forward to bent down and pick up a can. Glancing at Ed, he tossed it into the bin and folded his arms again.

"Happy now?"

Ed stared, growing angry again at the man standing there staring at him. His trademark smirk was missing though, he almost missed that look he would give him, as though he was an idiot.

"It's a start." He finally mumbled, turning away to hide the slight smile creeping onto his face.

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_Chapter two is up! Finally, I hope it went well, thanks for the favourites and reviews too :)_


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